What’s the worst that could happen? —allowing yourself to let life fall into place
I was at coffee with a girlfriend the other day, over analyzing every aspect of my life (as usual) until she finally cut me off with a question that I think I’d been avoiding the whole time.
“What’s the worst that could happen?”
Of course, this conversation was involving a boy, and, of course, I was doing my best to control every tiny detail of the situation. My talking ceased and I looked at her blankly, with no intention to answer her absurd question.
“Seriously, what’s the worst that’s going to happen here? You’re going to get your heart ripped out. You’re going to be shattered into pieces and you’re going to feel every single broken piece and you’re going to cry and it’s going to hurt worse than anything you’ve ever felt. What’s so bad about that?”
I wish you could have seen the look on my face as I tried to process her words as they dove into my heart.
None of it even made sense and it made so much sense all at the same time.
What am I scared of?
Why do I feel the need to calculate my every move, analyze the intentions of the people around me, and approach this life so cautiously from afar?
Is avoiding a broken heart really worth missing out on weak knees, butterflies giving my stomach flight, and dancing alone in my room until the sun peaks over the horizon? Is avoiding a bad feeling worth forcing myself to feel nothing at all?
Life is messy. It’s about making mistakes and loving the wrong person and figuring out why we are here and chasing dreams and falling hard and skinning our knees and bleeding cold, red, dirty blood all over the sidewalk. It’s about the moments of impact that help us to remember we’re alive. We are not here to simply exist. We are not here to play it safe and control those around us and make sure we double and triple check someone’s intentions before making a decision. Life is about diving head first without a clue what lies below. It’s about loving hard and giving our all and having our hearts ripped wide open, giving us more room to allow someone new to climb inside. The more broken you are, the more spaces people seem to fit.
Life is about love. Loving. Falling. Giving. Failing. Rising.
Life is about learning that love is a single word with a thousand meanings.
It’s about falling in love with yourself first, and everyone else in the world second.
It’s about finding something to love about every person you encounter, every situation you face, and every lesson you must learn.
It’s about true love, toxic love, broken love, passionate love, and wrong love. It’s about same-love and different love and realizing that at the end of the day love is still love.
If, at the end of the day, you can say you gave love your all, got your heart broken a few times, and maybe even broke a few hearts yourself, then I think you’re doing pretty darn good.
If you spend your days loving and being loved, falling in love with yourself over and over again, and learning the many meanings of the word love inside out, you’re doing the best that you can.
And if you’re doing the best that you can, what’s the worst that could happen?