5 years. This morning I woke up with the beautiful sawtooth mountains as a backdrop for my morning, sipping coffee and taking in every fragment of the moment as my heart broke and mended a million times over. Thousands of pieces shattering apart and pulling back together, a beautiful ebb and flow that I have […]
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Grief is the craziest experience of my life, thus far. It is not linear. It does not follow a path or a pattern or any type of algorithm that we can track. It just, is. And, some days, grief is filled with the darkest shade of blue I have ever encountered. It swallows you whole […]
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This morning, I woke up and took a walk for an hour by myself. My breath felt kind of shallow and no matter how deep I tried to inhale, it felt like it was stunted by something. Shortened. Being pressed back out. I came home and stayed busy; laundry and meal prep, cleaning and chores. […]
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I feel like this is what always happens, so I’m sorry if I sound like a broken record (with a few months in between each record playing.) But here I am, writing a stupid blog post just to prove to myself that I can. Just to start and finish something. Just to get some of […]
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I used to hope that there would be fireworks and confetti when love found me again. I begged for some kind of sign that I would be able to see or hear or feel all the screaming yeses promising me that love had really come back around. I practiced noticing the subtle differences between the […]
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It’s been a while since I sat down to simply write. Without structure or intention, without plans or expectation. I’ve been avoiding writing this and simultaneously excited for this day to come and go for 365 days now. A year ago to this date, the entire foundation I had built my life upon was completely […]
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I used to be so certain about what it was I wanted in a significant other. Funny. Smart. Charming. Kind. Driven. Tall. Active. Ambitious. Smart. I had a laundry list I checked off with each person I met, and I often discovered within the first conversation I knew whether or not we’d be riding off […]
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I remember sitting next to my dad’s bed in the emergency room while nurses and technicians rushed in and out, in and out, in and out. I didn’t notice much of the chaos around me; I just stared at my dad’s chest and held my breath as I begged for him to take another one. […]
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When you get your heart broken, if you’re anything like me, you want to figure out what you did wrong immediately in order to make sure none of these same shards of heartbreak ever cut you again. I’ve gone back and analyzed every word, every argument; and every hidden meaning I thought might be intertwined […]
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I’ve seen a lot of excitement that 2016 is nearing an end. I’ll admit, I’ve been amongst those people and I’ve been guilty of posting a meme or two praying that the universe doesn’t drop a 2016-S right when we think 2016 is finally over. But I got to thinking a lot about this […]
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take.your.heart 