I woke up this morning on the wrong side of the bed.
I didn’t want to spent my entire day studying,
missed my family and friends back home,
and felt as though my most recent gym efforts haven’t been paying off as I would like them to.
I trudged into the kitchen to make some coffee, all while bringing my bad mood with me everywhere I went. I was doing the one thing that I hate more than anything…feeling sorry for myself. And I was doing absolutely nothing to change it.
I sat down at my computer, coffee in hand, and told myself that I could scroll through FaceBook for 10 minutes and then I had to get to studying. I typed in the website, and the first picture that came onto my page was a picture of a smiling, teary-eyed man in uniform with the caption “HE MADE IT!”
Intrigued, I clicked the picture to see a little more about this person and his story.
What I came across shocked me completely.
I saw pictures of a happy married couple, I saw words from friends that were encouraging, joyful, and elated as this man was finally able to return from deployment while fighting for MY freedom, for ALL OF OUR freedom while we (and by ‘we’ I mean ‘I’) sit around and complain that we don’t want to study.
I scrolled down the page, so happy that this couple could finally be together again, and was hit with a ton of bricks.
A year and 3 days ago, this sweet woman gave birth to her first child, and lost him on the same exact day.
Not only has she lived the past year without her husband, partner, and biggest support system, but she has had to live every single day with a void that nothing but her sweet baby boy would be able to fill. She has had to get up every morning, go through the motions to make it through the day, and exude a strength that I cannot even imagine. (What was I feeling sorry about this morning?)
Wow. Talk about a humbling, overwhelming, and startling reality check.
I have been moved to my knees in thanks for all of the blessings that I have and all of the wonderful, beautiful, amazing things that I have to “feel sorry for myself” for.
How lucky I am to have school to need to study for, how lucky I am to have family back home that is so hard to miss, how lucky I am to have the time and the means and the facility to exercise and release my pent up energy and emotions.
Life has a funny way of reminding us who we are, why we are here, and how many things we truly have to be thankful for. Sometimes it comes as a slap in the face, as my reminder did this morning. Other times, you have to sit back and listen for that still small voice or even the pounding of your own heart to remind you. That pounding is really the only sign that you even need. It means you’re alive. It means you have a purpose. It means that your work on this Earth is far from being over. And, in the blink of an eye, that pounding can cease. Life can be taken from us just as quickly as it was given and there is absolutely nothing that we can do about it. It’s tragic and beautiful all at the same time.
I am thankful for that reality check this morning. I am thankful for that sweet couple and the strength that they possess within a love that is bigger than all of us. I am thankful for divine intervention in the times that we need it most, and I am thankful for support systems that help us get through days that we couldn’t get through alone.
I am thankful for where I am,
and I am thankful for where I am going.
I am thankful for my challenges, my tests of faith,
and I am even thankful for the mornings I wake up on the wrong side of the bed.
Not because I like to be grouchy
Simply because I WOKE UP.
In loving memory KNG November 1st 2011