Finding what I wasn’t looking for

Man, so much has changed over the past few months and I am finally finding time to sit down and get some of my thoughts out of my head and onto the keyboard. I have found myself in a really present, calm, and happy head-space lately, and I have found that my heart-space has followed […]

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it’s not goodbye, it’s see you soon.

  Since before I can remember, I asked for a big brother for Christmas. But not just for Christmas, literally any chance I ever got. I begged my parents to no avail, and eventually ended up kind of giving up on the whole idea. (Especially when I realized the technicalities of asking for a sibling […]

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the year that made me whole

It’s been a while since I sat down to simply write. Without structure or intention, without plans or expectation. I’ve been avoiding writing this and simultaneously excited for this day to come and go for 365 days now. A year ago to this date, the entire foundation I had built my life upon was completely […]

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let go of your checklist; let love find you

I used to be so certain about what it was I wanted in a significant other. Funny. Smart. Charming. Kind. Driven. Tall. Active. Ambitious. Smart. I had a laundry list I checked off with each person I met, and I often discovered within the first conversation I knew whether or not we’d be riding off […]

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what you can’t fix, you can heal

Some might say I’ve had to learn a lot of things “the hard way” in life. I was molested as a child, I lost my dad unexpectedly at 25-years-old, and I found out that my fiancé was cheating on me 7 days before what was supposed to be my dream wedding, leaving me to deal […]

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what it means to matter

I remember sitting next to my dad’s bed in the emergency room while nurses and technicians rushed in and out, in and out, in and out. I didn’t notice much of the chaos around me; I just stared at my dad’s chest and held my breath as I begged for him to take another one. […]

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what love isn’t.

When you get your heart broken, if you’re anything like me, you want to figure out what you did wrong immediately in order to make sure none of these same shards of heartbreak ever cut you again. I’ve gone back and analyzed every word, every argument; and every hidden meaning I thought might be intertwined […]

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cheers to 27

Two years ago to this exact date, I sat upstairs in the guest room of my parent’s house drinking wine alone, writing about 10 important things I had learned in my 25 short years of being alive. I wrote about how my past self would have guaranteed I’d have it all together by 25. A […]

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they both will come.

I’ve continued to find so much hope and comfort in writing again. This feeling of heart-ripped-open, teeth chattering, tears flowing, keys pounding on the keyboard feeling is far from foreign to me and, each time life guides me back to this place, a small part of me feels like I’m coming home. I still find […]

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a letter to the warrior women who saved me.

The past month has been full of so much loss, so much heartache, and so much grief. It has been floodgates opening, screaming silence and unanswered questions; it has been picking myself up only to fall down all over again. It has been questioning and clawing, reaching and grasping, it has been hopeless and terrifying […]

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