I know that the majority of my writing (on here at least) is centered around fitness and nutrition, but there is something to be said about the condition that your heart is in. It is just as important to take care of your heart as it is to take care of the rest of your body. We can do this by the obvious methods, such as eating the right foods and getting an adequate amount of cardiovascular activity. But we can also take care of our hearts by protecting ourselves from external factors that might jeopardize our heart’s health, allowing ourselves to open up and let people in, and by loving with all of our heart’s capacity. That being said, this post is directed toward the health of my heart specifically, and some of the thoughts and feelings my heart has been experiencing…
Lately I have been having a lot of thoughts and conversations about love, and more specifically–being IN LOVE.
Why are there so many people yearning to be in love, get married, fill that void in their hearts, etc.
I usually pride myself on being independent and I have never been someone who needs a man in order to survive, but living life is SO MUCH MORE than merely surviving.
Sure, I can get by alone, I can take care of myself, I will be financially stable and capable of taking care of my needs, but what’s life if you don’t have someone by your side to share it with?
As of right now, I am beyond blessed with people to ‘share my life’ with. I have wonderful family and some great friends that make all of my adventures THAT much better, simply by experiencing them with me. So what is it that creates the dividing line between love for a friend and love for a lover? What is it about a romantic and intimate relationship that leaves us all yearning for our heart strings to be tugged?
I think that once you have experienced the feeling of love, you realize how big it really is. That it is bigger than everything else in the whole entire world. Romantic love opens windows and doors within our soul that we didn’t even know existed. In turn, love lost leaves holes that only a new love can truly fill. Sure, time heals all wounds, but once you have experienced love you know that nothing else compares and there are days where you can physically CRAVE that feeling. That comfort. That touch. That electric feeling that awakens every ounce of your being and makes you feel more alive than you have ever felt. That feeling that leaves your cheeks in pain from smiling so big, that feeling that beats even a runner’s high.
I do a pretty good job at keeping my head on straight and knowing that my time will come someday, and for now I can work on becoming the person that I want to be. The person that will attract the man I want to marry, the person that will make someone’s perfect partner in crime for the rest of their life.
I have so many dreams and goals and I am well on my way to achieving a lot of them. I am so happy and complacent and thankful and blessed, but I am also aware that one of my biggest dreams cannot be achieved by myself alone.
I think that thought scares me more than anything. I am someone who is used to knowing what they want, and working until I get it. But love isn’t something that you work for. Love isn’t something that you can set your mind on finding and achieve yourself. Love must find you. Which is why I will live my life being someone that love might be looking for.
Someone kind and strong and happy and humble. What kind of love does a desperate, anxious, resentful person attract? Not the right kind of love, that’s for sure. In fact, I don’t know if that kind of person attracts any sort of love at all. That kind of mind set attracts heartache and emptiness.
It’s much easier said than done, but I am trying my hardest to find an inner peace that is so strong that it can’t be shaken. No bad moods or jealous feelings or struggles will be able to shake the peace that lies within my soul, a peace that any love would seek.
I have been blessed with many great examples of perfect love stories and happy endings, all of which have given me the ideology within my mind to create a standard that I am not willing to adjust. I will not settle for less than what I know can be achieved, not even on the days when I want that feeling so badly that I feel like nearly anyone would do. Because the thing is, you can’t CREATE that feeling. You can’t FAKE that connection. Sometimes it feels like you can, when the loneliness creeps in and your mind gets jumbled and all you want is strong arms around you to keep out the cold. But the man that I marry will be so much more than a pair of strong arms. He will be so much more than a body to fill the void for a night. And the man that I marry will be strong enough to wait until he finds me rather than settling for someone to fill that space within his heart. I owe it to him to do the same.
It’s scary to keep moving forward when you aren’t even sure what the future holds. It’s scary to believe in something bigger than yourself when you have no proof that it is even going to happen, but I know it will be worth it. Sometimes I think that I just want to know everything will be okay, that I will find who I am looking for and we will live happily ever after–but love doesn’t work like that. Love finds you the minute you aren’t looking. The minute you no longer wonder if everything will be okay. Love comes out of nowhere and lights your world on fire. If love told you it was coming then you would miss out on all of the feelings you get as you first start to fall. The butterflies, the skipped heartbeats, the late night phone calls and tired at work all day (but SO worth it) memories. You have to go blindly into love because love is all about blindness. Blindly falling off a cliff and loving someone so deep that you are blind to their flaws, as they are to yours.
I haven’t found a love like this (yet)–but I’ve seen it, and I believe in it more than I believe in anything else. I know it’s out there and I know it’s out there for ME. It’s out there for everyone who believes in it enough to wait until they actually find the real thing.