what it means to matter

I remember sitting next to my dad’s bed in the emergency room while nurses and technicians rushed in and out, in and out, in and out. I didn’t notice much of the chaos around me; I just stared at my dad’s chest and held my breath as I begged for him to take another one. […]

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what love isn’t.

When you get your heart broken, if you’re anything like me, you want to figure out what you did wrong immediately in order to make sure none of these same shards of heartbreak ever cut you again. I’ve gone back and analyzed every word, every argument; and every hidden meaning I thought might be intertwined […]

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farewell 2016

  I’ve seen a lot of excitement that 2016 is nearing an end. I’ll admit, I’ve been amongst those people and I’ve been guilty of posting a meme or two praying that the universe doesn’t drop a 2016-S right when we think 2016 is finally over. But I got to thinking a lot about this […]

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cheers to 27

Two years ago to this exact date, I sat upstairs in the guest room of my parent’s house drinking wine alone, writing about 10 important things I had learned in my 25 short years of being alive. I wrote about how my past self would have guaranteed I’d have it all together by 25. A […]

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Light through the cracks 

This year has been a test; a series of lessons that turned into blessings, and a crazy amount of failures. This year has brought a lot of hurt.  But for every splinter entering my flesh, there has been a reason to find thanks in the bleeding.  For every dead end road I have reached, there has […]

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Tonight, my words are ready.

I have learned that when the words are ready, they will come. Whether you are sitting at your keyboard or sitting in traffic, the words will come and they will claw their way out of you until you let them be heard. Tonight, my words are ready. They are not pretty or decorated with sugar […]

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they both will come.

I’ve continued to find so much hope and comfort in writing again. This feeling of heart-ripped-open, teeth chattering, tears flowing, keys pounding on the keyboard feeling is far from foreign to me and, each time life guides me back to this place, a small part of me feels like I’m coming home. I still find […]

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a letter to the warrior women who saved me.

The past month has been full of so much loss, so much heartache, and so much grief. It has been floodgates opening, screaming silence and unanswered questions; it has been picking myself up only to fall down all over again. It has been questioning and clawing, reaching and grasping, it has been hopeless and terrifying […]

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This is how we love now;

This is how we love now. Good morning text messages and Facebook official posts. Undressing our clothes as we build walls around our hearts, No one ever truly sees us naked anymore. This is how we love now. Love is not intercepted notes in English class and hanging up each time his dad answers the […]

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he’ll listen, but he will already know.

  I remember wishing more than anything for my dad to visit me in my dreams after he passed away. I almost felt angry when friends or family told me that he was in theirs, like I was being cheated out of seeing him, or he was choosing to visit other people first, or maybe […]

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