I remember sitting next to my dad’s bed in the emergency room while nurses and technicians rushed in and out, in and out, in and out. I didn’t notice much of the chaos around me; I just stared at my dad’s chest and held my breath as I begged for him to take another one. […]
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I have learned that when the words are ready, they will come. Whether you are sitting at your keyboard or sitting in traffic, the words will come and they will claw their way out of you until you let them be heard. Tonight, my words are ready. They are not pretty or decorated with sugar […]
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I’ve continued to find so much hope and comfort in writing again. This feeling of heart-ripped-open, teeth chattering, tears flowing, keys pounding on the keyboard feeling is far from foreign to me and, each time life guides me back to this place, a small part of me feels like I’m coming home. I still find […]
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I remember wishing more than anything for my dad to visit me in my dreams after he passed away. I almost felt angry when friends or family told me that he was in theirs, like I was being cheated out of seeing him, or he was choosing to visit other people first, or maybe […]
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I promised myself I would start writing again. I thought it would help. Force me to talk about the things I was feeling with paper the way I used to. Writing was one of the only things that truly understood me for a really long time. So, I said it was time to start back […]
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When we lose someone we love, we begin clinging to our memories and reaching for any and all signs that our loved one is still with us. We begin finding hope in feathers and 11:11 wishes and songs on the radio we swear had to have been divinely intervened. Sometimes puzzle pieces fall from […]
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It’s amazing how alone we can feel until we encounter someone who understands the inconsistent beat of our terrified heart. I know all too often how it feels to be in a room full of thousands of people and still feel so alone. To try and fill that void is a lost cause because, often […]
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Isn’t it amazing how quickly our senses begin to awaken the moment we lose someone we love? It’s almost as though this gaping hole in our heart causes the rest of our body to take over, just to keep us alive. Our memory becomes stronger, perhaps in an attempt to rescue us from reality, give us […]
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Starting at the ending. I remember the look in your eyes when I told you Like you were watching a movie for the 100th time and suddenly the ending had been changed Your eyes searched for answers in mine, But they got lost somewhere in between my hollow tears and your helpless heart. Your cries […]
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