5 years.

5 years. This morning I woke up with the beautiful sawtooth mountains as a backdrop for my morning, sipping coffee and taking in every fragment of the moment as my heart broke and mended a million times over. Thousands of pieces shattering apart and pulling back together, a beautiful ebb and flow that I have […]

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the bright white light

Grief is the craziest experience of my life, thus far. It is not linear. It does not follow a path or a pattern or any type of algorithm that we can track. It just, is. And, some days, grief is filled with the darkest shade of blue I have ever encountered. It swallows you whole […]

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Finding what I wasn’t looking for

Man, so much has changed over the past few months and I am finally finding time to sit down and get some of my thoughts out of my head and onto the keyboard. I have found myself in a really present, calm, and happy head-space lately, and I have found that my heart-space has followed […]

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when the moon feels close enough to touch

Hi Dad, Happy birthday. I wish you were here so I could show up at your house unannounced with a bottle of Calvin cologne and we could watch football and talk about work, and life, and if I’ve “dated any knuckleheads” lately. I miss resting my head on your shoulder while you explained why there […]

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if we choose to look in its direction

I feel like this is what always happens, so I’m sorry if I sound like a broken record (with a few months in between each record playing.) But here I am, writing a stupid blog post just to prove to myself that I can. Just to start and finish something. Just to get some of […]

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until the light returns

It’s been a while since I have taken the time to sit down and write; no agenda, no real reason, just a chance to get my thoughts on paper and maybe help even just one person feel like they aren’t alone in the current storms or struggles they’re encountering. I have chosen not to talk […]

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cheers to you, daddio.

Daddy, Today, you would be 65. 65. It’s hard to grasp, really. In my eyes, you will always be strong, outstretched arms, golden tan skin, hands 5 times as big as mine, spinning me ‘round and ‘round and ‘round in the back yard. You will always be late night trips to Pojos, winning me every […]

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what love isn’t.

When you get your heart broken, if you’re anything like me, you want to figure out what you did wrong immediately in order to make sure none of these same shards of heartbreak ever cut you again. I’ve gone back and analyzed every word, every argument; and every hidden meaning I thought might be intertwined […]

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farewell 2016

  I’ve seen a lot of excitement that 2016 is nearing an end. I’ll admit, I’ve been amongst those people and I’ve been guilty of posting a meme or two praying that the universe doesn’t drop a 2016-S right when we think 2016 is finally over. But I got to thinking a lot about this […]

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they both will come.

I’ve continued to find so much hope and comfort in writing again. This feeling of heart-ripped-open, teeth chattering, tears flowing, keys pounding on the keyboard feeling is far from foreign to me and, each time life guides me back to this place, a small part of me feels like I’m coming home. I still find […]

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