the bright white light

Grief is the craziest experience of my life, thus far. It is not linear. It does not follow a path or a pattern or any type of algorithm that we can track. It just, is. And, some days, grief is filled with the darkest shade of blue I have ever encountered. It swallows you whole […]

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when the moon feels close enough to touch

Hi Dad, Happy birthday. I wish you were here so I could show up at your house unannounced with a bottle of Calvin cologne and we could watch football and talk about work, and life, and if I’ve “dated any knuckleheads” lately. I miss resting my head on your shoulder while you explained why there […]

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if we choose to look in its direction

I feel like this is what always happens, so I’m sorry if I sound like a broken record (with a few months in between each record playing.) But here I am, writing a stupid blog post just to prove to myself that I can. Just to start and finish something. Just to get some of […]

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the year that made me whole

It’s been a while since I sat down to simply write. Without structure or intention, without plans or expectation. I’ve been avoiding writing this and simultaneously excited for this day to come and go for 365 days now. A year ago to this date, the entire foundation I had built my life upon was completely […]

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let go of your checklist; let love find you

I used to be so certain about what it was I wanted in a significant other. Funny. Smart. Charming. Kind. Driven. Tall. Active. Ambitious. Smart. I had a laundry list I checked off with each person I met, and I often discovered within the first conversation I knew whether or not we’d be riding off […]

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what it means to matter

I remember sitting next to my dad’s bed in the emergency room while nurses and technicians rushed in and out, in and out, in and out. I didn’t notice much of the chaos around me; I just stared at my dad’s chest and held my breath as I begged for him to take another one. […]

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farewell 2016

  I’ve seen a lot of excitement that 2016 is nearing an end. I’ll admit, I’ve been amongst those people and I’ve been guilty of posting a meme or two praying that the universe doesn’t drop a 2016-S right when we think 2016 is finally over. But I got to thinking a lot about this […]

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cheers to 27

Two years ago to this exact date, I sat upstairs in the guest room of my parent’s house drinking wine alone, writing about 10 important things I had learned in my 25 short years of being alive. I wrote about how my past self would have guaranteed I’d have it all together by 25. A […]

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all the ways you’ll find me {poetry}

Tell me all of the ways you’re sorry. I’ll tell you how I’m not sorry for all the ways you’ll find me long after I leave. You made this bed and I am the reason she will be scared to look underneath when it’s time to go to sleep. She will not see me in […]

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you are eyes squeezed tightly {poetry}

Initially, this was a tough piece to share. I’ve sat down in an attempt to write a letter to the people who hurt me when I was little a thousand times. And a thousand times, all I could ever write was “I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.” Less than therapeutic. A few […]

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