when the moon feels close enough to touch

Hi Dad, Happy birthday. I wish you were here so I could show up at your house unannounced with a bottle of Calvin cologne and we could watch football and talk about work, and life, and if I’ve “dated any knuckleheads” lately. I miss resting my head on your shoulder while you explained why there […]

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cheers to you, daddio.

Daddy, Today, you would be 65. 65. It’s hard to grasp, really. In my eyes, you will always be strong, outstretched arms, golden tan skin, hands 5 times as big as mine, spinning me ‘round and ‘round and ‘round in the back yard. You will always be late night trips to Pojos, winning me every […]

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{the first time I met grief}

The first time I met grief, I didn’t know what to do with him. He showed up at my door like a child dressed up as the grim reaper. He looked just as scared as I was. We stared at each other and I tried to close the door, but he showed up by my […]

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what it means to matter

I remember sitting next to my dad’s bed in the emergency room while nurses and technicians rushed in and out, in and out, in and out. I didn’t notice much of the chaos around me; I just stared at my dad’s chest and held my breath as I begged for him to take another one. […]

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he’ll listen, but he will already know.

  I remember wishing more than anything for my dad to visit me in my dreams after he passed away. I almost felt angry when friends or family told me that he was in theirs, like I was being cheated out of seeing him, or he was choosing to visit other people first, or maybe […]

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An angel named Steve

  When we lose someone we love, we begin clinging to our memories and reaching for any and all signs that our loved one is still with us. We begin finding hope in feathers and 11:11 wishes and songs on the radio we swear had to have been divinely intervened. Sometimes puzzle pieces fall from […]

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The 25 Years I Was Lucky Enough to Have Don Hutt as My Daddy

  Donald Hutt November 24, 1952 – March 23, 2015 Donald Orval Hutt, 62, of Boise, Idaho, passed away at home March 23, 2015 after a recent bout of medical conditions and a lifelong search to find peace. Don spent his last few months on Earth surrounded by enough love, support, and care to help […]

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